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Notes Jokes & Quotes

Notes Jokes & Quotes

News Now Dubois County: With all the depressing things going on, News Now offers a little comic relief, interesting facts and inspirational quotes. Enjoy from News now.

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Notes & Facts:

  • Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded
  • One-quarter of all your bones are located in your feet.
  •  Mozart had a sister (Maria Anna) who was also an accomplished musician and composer, sometimes even receiving top billing. She was no longer taken on tour with her famous brother once she reached “marriageable age”.
  •  The four vultures in Disney’s The Jungle Book were both designed after and originally supposed to be voiced by The Beatles.
  •  Sumo referees carry a knife to show that they are willing to kill themselves if they make a bad call.
  •  Eminem once held a top 30 world record score in Donkey Kong.
  •  The reason many U.S army helicopters are named after native-American tribes is because the first U.S Air Force bases were located on native reserves.
  • PETA once called for the practice of Indy 500 winners drinking milk to be banned, as it was cruel to calves as well as racist due to African-Americans having an enzyme which made milk difficult to digest
  •  Hiccups are a holdover from early evolution when early land animals had both gills and lungs.
  •  Jelly-filled doughnuts, sufganiyot have been embraced by Jews as the ceremonial food of Hanukkah. Their rationale is that sufganiyot are cooked in hot oil and thus pay homage to the second century B.C. rededication of the Holy Temple, during which the oil in the temple lamp lasted eight nights instead of the expected one.
  •  Lake Balkhash in Kazakhstan is divided by a strait into two distinct parts. What makes it very interesting is that the western part is fresh water while the Eastern part of the same lake is saline.
  •  “Nigerian Prince” style scams began in the 1980s via postal mail, with letters addressed to a woman’s husband, inquired about his health and asked women what to do with multi-million dollar investments hidden in Nigeria. The spread of email lowered the costs and increased the effectiveness of these scams.

 

    Jokes:

    • An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
    • My daughter received this e-mail from a prospective student prior to the start of the semester: “Dear Professor, I won’t be able to come to any of your classes or meet for any of the tests. Is this a problem?
    • One of my wife’s third graders was wearing a Fitbit watch, which prompted my wife to ask, “Are you tracking your steps?” “No,” said the little girl. “I wear this for Mommy so she can show Daddy when he gets home.”
    • Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously. In fact, he said, “I’ve been washing my hands so much, I found the answers to an old eighth-grade math quiz.”
    • I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway her. Then a solution hit me: “If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?” “Well, yes,” she said reluctantly. “But that would ruin his credit.”
    • Dad always bragged about the gunners on his ship. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. The cruiser opened up, shells furiously flying all around the drone but not hitting it. Then came Dad’s ship’s turn. The gunners’ very first shot sent the drone into the water! Forty years later, Dad met the man responsible, and he told him how impressed he had been. “Yeah, I got in a lot of trouble for that,” the gunner said. “Turns out we were supposed to shoot around it, not hit it.”
    • My dad used to sing little ditties. This was my favorite: There was a young lady named Mabel. She danced on the dining room table. Her face grew red, When the gentleman said … “Look at the legs on that table!”
    • My mother was hard of hearing and wore a hearing aid that she removed at bedtime. My dad would wait till she had put it on her nightstand and say, “Do you want to go to sleep or what?” Not being able to hear, she would inevitably respond with “What?” And that, my dad joked to me on numerous occasions, is the explanation for why I come from a very large family
    • My Dad’s favorite joke is indelible: Joe is a new man on a construction crew. The first day on the job, he opens his lunch box and mumbles, “Oh no, peanut butter!” The next day, “Peanut butter again!” This goes on for days, until another worker says, “Why don’t you ask your wife to make a different lunch?” Joe replies, “I’m not married. I make my own lunch.” Whether or not anyone else laughed, Dad certainly did.

     

    Quotes: 
    When you are going through hard times, finding inspiration is tough.130 Inspirational pictures quotes and motivational images

    Trust us when we say that everyone has been there – even successful people.

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