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Notes, Jokes & Quotes

Notes, Jokes & Quotes

Jasper (NNDC):

Notes, Jokes & Quotes is a long time feature at NNDC.  With all the negative news out there, including COVID-19 virus, we thought it time again to lighten your stress level with this newest update:

 

 

 

Notes &  Facts:

 

 

 

When you see footage of astronauts floating peacefully in space, do you ever wonder, What do space smells like? Well, according to some former astronauts, space does have a distinct odor that hangs around post-spacewalk. They’ve described it as “hot metal” or “searing steak.”

 

While Scotland proudly boasts the Loch Ness Monster, one of the world’s most famous fabled creatures, the country opted to make another mythical beast its national animal: the unicorn. Although this might seem like an odd choice, Visit Scotlandexplains that unicorns played an integral role in the country’s history. Back in the 12th century, William I used the “proud beast” in the Scottish royal coat of arms.

 

Were you aware of the fact that multiple skeletons were found in the basement of Benjamin Franklin’s London home? The bones were discovered during a 1998 renovation of the house and were identified as being from nearly a dozen people, including six children. “The most plausible explanation is not mass murder, but an anatomy school run by Benjamin Franklin’s young friend and protege, William Hewson,” wrote The Guardian.

That’s not to say there wasn’t any funny business going on. “The resurrection men could deliver bodies stolen from graveyards to the Thames wharf at the bottom of the street, while there was a weekly public execution at the gallows on the other side of the garden wall.”

 

A small valley near Volcán in Panama has garnered the distinction of being the world’s healthiest place to live, according to a 2018 report by International Living. Called Shangri-La Valley, the area is home to beautiful scenery, a low cost of living, and a significantly longer life expectancy than the surrounding areas. All in all, the world’s healthiest areas have some common factors, according to the ranking: a warm climate, an active social scene, healthy food and a slower pace of life that makes for less daily stress.

 

Jokes:

– Boss (to the new employee): We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

– There once was a man who was so proud of the fact that he had six kids that he insisted on calling his wife “mother of six.”
His wife hated this name and asked him repeatedly not to call her that, but he was a stubborn man and was very proud that he had six kids.
One evening they were at a dinner party for his company and it was getting close to the time that they should be leaving. The husband yelled from across the room over to his wife, “mother of six, are you ready to go?”
Annoyed with his question, she responded, “In a minute, Father of four.”

– A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend. “It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas,” the friend observed. “But didn’t you tell me you were planning to visit Colorado?”

“Well,” the husband said, “we changed our plans because, uh…”

His wife cut in, “Oh, tell the truth, Fred!” He feel silent, and she continued,

“You know, it’s just ridiculous. Fred simply will NOT ask for directions.

– Every Wednesday night at St. Rocco’s Catholic Church is a marriage seminar for husbands.

One night Father Gill asked Fabio to share his secrets for staying happily married for almost 50 years.

Fabio explained that he’d tried to treat his wife nice, buy her a few things, and best of all, he took her to Rome for their 25th anniversary.

Father Gill asked, “So what are you going to do for your 50th?”

Fabio proudly answered, “I’m gonna go pick her up!”

– The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello.’
‘Mrs. Sanders, please.’
‘Speaking.’

‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.’

‘What do you mean?’ Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.
‘Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can’t tell which is which.’
‘That’s dreadful! Can you do the test again?’ questioned Mrs. Sanders.
‘Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.’ ‘Well, what am I supposed to do now?’

‘The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him.

Quotes:

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