Notes, Jokes & Quotes

Notes & Facts:

 

  •  Pando (Latin for “I spread out) is a group of genetically identical quaking aspens in Utah with and interconnected root system. It’s an estimated 80,000 years old and takes up more than 100 acres.
  • You can hear a blue whale’s heartbeat from more than 2 miles away.
  • The worlds largest heart weighs about 400 pounds approximately the size off a small piano.
  • The odds of getting a royal flush are exactly 1 in 64,9740.
  • If you drive south from Detroit you’ll hit Canada.
  • Four times more people speak English as a foreign language. It is the 2 billion people.

Jokes:

  • Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
  • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
  • I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  • My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
  • I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
  • Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
  • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
  • I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  • My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
  • I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
  • Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
  • I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
  • I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
  • My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
  • I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
  • Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chasing the two men. They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees. Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion. As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”

Quotes:

  • “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – …
  • “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – …
  • “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. …
  • “If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.”
  • Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.” –Steve Jobs
  • “If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
  • “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.” –Oprah Winfrey
  • “If you set your goals ridiculously high and it’s a failure, you will fail above everyone else’s success.” –James Cameron
  • “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” –John Lennon

Speak Your Mind

*