Notes, Jokes, & Quotes

Notes and Facts:

  •  The average American uses over 100 gallons of water a day with toilet flushing and showering being the biggest uses.
  • The eyes of celestial goldfish are bigger than its stomach.
  • In the U.S., the death toll from guns is higher for kids ages 0-4 than it is for on-duty law enforcement officers.
  • Studies show that trauma victims who don’t search for a reason for their misfortune turn out to be the most well-adjusted years later.
  • Between 2007 and 2016, only 4% of Hollywood directors were female and 80% of those got the chance to make only one film.
  • In 2017, US$10 made you a millionaire in Venezuela’s local currency.
  • French newspaper Charlie Hebdo’s next issue after the 2015 shooting run almost 8 million copies in 6 languages, compared to its typical print run of 60,000.
  • Carbon stocks in vegetation have a key role in the climate system; humans are responsible for reducing it by over 50%.
  • Double stuffed Oreos are only stuffed 1.86x more than regular Oreos.

 

Jokes:

  •  Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice? Because it might crack up!
  • “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
  • What do you call a sleepwalking nun? Roamin’ Catholic.
  • What happened when Abel died? He became unable.
  • What kind of floor do dinosaurs’ bathrooms have? Rep-tiles.
  • I saw a man at the beach yelling “Help, shark! Help!” I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
  • What sound does a piano make when you drop it on an army base? A flat major.
  • “Wanna hear two short jokes and one long joke? Joke, joke, joooooooooooke.”

 

Quotes:

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