Notes, Jokes & Quotes

Notes & Facts:

  • April 5th 1792, George Washington cast the first presidential veto, rejecting a congressional measure for apportioning representatives among the states.
  • Life expectancy for Arabs in Israel is the highest in the Arab-Muslim world, at 79 years.
  • Chris Farley was the original voice of ‘Shrek’, but passed away after recording about 85% of his lines.
  • Modern movies have an invisible watermark that can track any person filming at the theatre illegally.
  • Flamingos can sleep while on one leg. The balancing act requires less muscular effort and allows the birds to sway less.
  • Iceland has an official book-buying season – Jólabókaflóð. It runs from September to December, and over half of all books sold in Iceland are sold in the month before Christmas.
  • Instead of selling 6 shares for 610,000 yen, a trader in 2001 sold 610,000 shares for 6 yen, which resulted in a US$100 million loss for his company.
  • Abraham Lincoln was America’s best president, in the opinion of 91 presidential historians surveyed.

 

Jokes:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  •  If a single teacher can’t teach us all the subjects then how can you expect a single student to learn all subjects?
  • Why should you be careful about telling secrets in a vegetable garden? Because corn has ears, potatoes have eyes, and beans talk.
  • Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are in talks right now about a merger. They are expected to become: Poupon Pants.
  • Did you hear about the hold-up in the yard? Two clothes pegs held up a pair of pants.
  • Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
  • A drunk was hauled into court. “Mister,” the judge began, “you’ve been brought here for drinking.” “Great!” the drunk exclaimed. “When do we get started?”
  • “It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?” To which she replied “Probably that I married you for your money.”

 

Quotes:

  •  “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
    ― Marilyn Monroe
  • “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
  • “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
  • “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
    ― Bernard M. Baruch
  • “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
    ― Dr. Seuss
  • “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
  • “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
    ― Robert Frost
  • “Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow
    Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead
    Walk beside me… just be my friend”
    ― Albert Camus

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