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Notes, Jokes & Quotes for Thanksgiving

Sorry All, I know it has been a while since my last post and with the Thanksgiving Holiday, I probably won’t be able to update this until early next week.  Consequently, I made this quite long so you can ration yourself until my next post.

Happy Thanksgiving from the entire News Now Staff and Crew!

Notes of the Day:

  •  As a nation, the US has celebrated Thanksgiving off and on since 1774. In 1789 George Washington made a proclamation that the American people should celebrate a day of thanksgiving to God on November 26th. Some presidents after him continued the tradition, sporadically declaring days of Thanksgiving. But it wasn’t until 1863 with Lincoln proclaiming a day of Thanksgiving on the last Thursday of November that it became an annual holiday. Every year after that Presidents proclaimed the last Thursday of November to be a day of Thanksgiving. It was changed to be the fourth Thursday in under President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
  •  The country of Ireland was the first country to ban smoking in bars.
  • This year on November 14, 1851, Herman Melville’s novel “Moby Dick” was published.
  • Near the end of a week long national salute to Americans who served in the Vietnam War, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial is dedicated in Washington after a march to its site by thousands of veterans of the conflict. The long-awaited memorial was a simple V-shaped black-granite wall inscribed with the names of the 57,939 Americans who died in the conflict, arranged in order of death, not rank, as was common in other memorials.The designer of the memorial was Maya Lin, a Yale University architecture student who entered a nationwide competition to create a design for the monument. Lin, born in Ohio in 1959, was the daughter of Chinese immigrants. Many veterans’ groups were opposed to Lin’s winning design, which lacked a standard memorial’s heroic statues and stirring words. However, a remarkable shift in public opinion occurred in the months after the memorial’s dedication. Veterans and families of the dead walked the black reflective wall, seeking the names of their loved ones killed in the conflict. Once the name was located, visitors often made an etching or left a private offering, from notes and flowers to dog tags and cans of beer.The Vietnam Veterans Memorial soon became one of the most visited memorials in the nation’s capital. A Smithsonian Institution director called it “a community of feelings, almost a sacred precinct,” and a veteran declared that “it’s the parade we never got.” “The Wall” drew together both those who fought and those who marched against the war and served to promote national healing a decade after the divisive conflict’s end.
  • For every human on earth, there are roughly 1.6 million ants.
  • This year on November 13, 1956, the Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial segregation on public buses.
  • In 1895, physicist Wilhelm Conrad Rontgen (1845-1923) becomes the first person to observe X-rays, a significant scientific advancement that would ultimately benefit a variety of fields, most of all medicine, by making the invisible visible. Rontgen’s discovery occurred accidentally in his Wurzburg, Germany, lab, where he was testing whether cathode rays could pass through glass when he noticed a glow coming from a nearby chemically coated screen. He dubbed the rays that caused this glow X-rays because of their unknown nature.
  • Of all the people in history that have reached 65 years of age, half of them are living right now.us has the longest day of any planet in our solar system.
  • Venus has the longest day of any planet in our solar system.

Jokes of the Day:

  •  How To Cook A Turkey:
    Step 1: Go buy a turkey
    Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
    Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
    Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
    Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
    Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
    Step 7: Turk the bastey
    Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get
    Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer
    Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
    Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
    Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey
    Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
    Step 14: Turk the carvey
    Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch
    Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
    Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out.
  • Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving? A: I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
  • A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic; but the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt.”Darling wife,” the husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if-“The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that you are his father.”The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her breath: “Thank God he didn’t ask about the other three.”
  • A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
    He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, “”Can I help you?””
    The man said, “”Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”
  • A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe how he does and give some tips. After listening in on the second confession, the older priest suggested that the younger man fold his arms, maybe rub his chin with one hand while saying phrases like “I see” or “I understand” or “Yes, my child. Go on”.
    The young priest puts the suggestions into practice and later tells the older priest how much it has helped getting more information from his flock.
    “You’ve done well,” said the older man. “Isn’t that much better than slapping your knee and yelling ‘No way! What happened next?'”
  • A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn’t want to spend a lot of money. “How much do they cost?” he asked the salesman.
    “Anything from $2 to $2,000.”
    “Can I see the $2 model?” said the customer.
    The salesman put the device around the man’s neck, and said: “You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket.”
    “How does it work?” asked the customer.
    “For $2, it doesn’t work,” said the salesman. “But when people see it on you, they’ll talk louder.”
  • A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs.With the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, the preacher prayed, “O Lord, I’m so sorry for skipping services today. Please forgive me and grant me just one wish–make a Christian out of that bear that’s coming at me!”At that very instant, the bear skidded to a halt, fell to his knees, clasped his paws together, and began to pray aloud at the preacher’s feet: “Dear God, please bless this food I am about to receive.”
  • An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
    He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”
    The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: “He lives in a home with four children — he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quotes of the Day:

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