Notes, Jokes and Quotes for Wed/Thur

Notes of the Day:

  • The top speed at the world’s first real automobile race in 1895 was just 15 mph.
  • October 24, 1861;  The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent from California to President Abraham Lincoln.
  • Doctors’ sloppy handwriting kills more than 7000 people annually.
  • Einstein Failed his University Entrance Exam and had to reapply a year later.
  • JFK bought 1,200 cigars just hours before signing the embargo against Cuba.
  • Our moon is bigger than Pluto and 1/4 the diameter of Earth.
  • McDonald’s feeds 68 million people every day.  That’s more than the entire population of the U.K.

Jokes of the Day:

  •  Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”
    After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
    At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!”
    Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?”
  • Three women and are lost in the forest while hunting. They each have a shotgun with 2 bullets. They make a fire. The first gets up and goes hunting. She comes back with 2 rabbits. The other two say, “Wow, where did you get that?” She says, “I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw rabbits. Rabbits ran. I shot. Rabbits stopped.” The second leaves and comes back with a deer. The other two say, “Wow, Where did you get that?” She says, “I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw deer. Deer ran. I shot. Deer stopped.” The last leaves and comes crawling back, all bloodied and black and blue. They others say, “Wow, where did you get that?” She says, “I found tracks. I followed tracks. I saw train. Train ran. I shot. Train didn’t stop.”

Quotes of the Day:

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