Notes, Jokes & Quotes of the Day for Monday/Tuesday

Notes of the Day:

  •  Every U.S. president with a beard has been a Republican.
  • USS Constitution, also known as Old Ironsides, is a wooden-hulled, three-masted heavy frigate of the United States Navy named by President George Washington. She is the world’s oldest commissioned naval vessel still afloat. She was first launched on October 21at, 1797, one of six original frigates authorized for construction by the Naval Act of 1794. During the War of 1812, the Constitution won its enduring nickname “Old Ironsides” after defeating numerous British warships. Witnesses claimed that the British shots merely bounced off the Constitution’s sides, as if the ship were made of iron rather than wood.
  • Netflix is responsible for 15% of  global internet traffic.
  • Canals are a Chinese invention – the Grand Canal of China is 1,103 miles long and was started in 486 BC.
  • The term “Dumpster” actually comes from the name of the company who designed and patented the first large, movable trash bin.
  • In the U.S., the penalty for placing a sales call to a number on the Do Not Call list is $40,654 per call.
  • Star Wars composer John William’s son is the lead singer for the rock band Toto.
  • Usain Bolt was offered a position as wide receiver in the NFL and rejected it due to the hits NFL players take.
  • A human being uses about 550 liters of pure oxygen (19 cubic feet) per day.
  • The Korean title for the 1993 film Groundhog Day is “Black Hole of Love.”

Jokes of the Day:

  •  A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station.
    “I have an interesting case here,” he says. “A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”
    “Have you arrested her?” asks the sergeant.
    “No, not yet. The floor’s still wet.”
  • After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection – a baseball bat to the cash register.”Cash or charge,” the clerk asked.

    “Cash,” she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, “I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!”

    “Shall I gift wrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly, “Or or you going back?”

  • A Jewish guy converts to Christianity. His distraught father prays, “Oh God, my son converted to Christianity! What should I do?”God says, “You know, I had that same problem…”
  • Three engineers are on a road trip, a mechanical engineer, and electrical engineer, and a software engineer. They pull over at a restaurant to eat and when they try to leave, the car won’t start.The mechanical engineer says “Let me check the starter.”

    The electrical engineer says “Let me make sure the battery is connected. Always try the easiest solutions first.”

    The software engineer rolls his eyes and says “Before we do anything else, let’s all just get out of the car and then get back in.”

     

Quotes of the Day:

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