Notes, Jokes, & Quotes for the Weekend

Notes of the Day:

  •  The German festival Oktoberfest was firs held in Munich on October 12, 1810 to celebrate the wedding of Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig and Princess Theresa of Saxe-Hildburghhausen.
  • The cornerstone of the White House was laid during a ceremony in the Districe of Columbia.
  • In 1962, JFK secretly installed a taping system in the White House.
  • A Marijuana-derived compound forces cancer cells to freeze and prevents them from spreading.
  • Mount Everest is littered not only with corpses of climbers but an estimated 50 tons of waste, making it the world’s dirtiest mountain.
  • Spending money on others yields more happiness than spending it on yourself a study concluded.
  • U.S. troops in Vietnam employed over 5000 war dogs.
  • A secret message was engraved inside Abraham Lincoln’s pocket watch by a jeweler, and it was not discovered until 2009.

Jokes of the Day:

  •  A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began toscream, “Where did you get that car???!!!” He calmly told them, “I boughtit today.”
    “With what money?” demanded his parents. “We know what a Porsche costs.”
    “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”
    So the parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like thatfor fifteen dollars?” they said.
    “It was the lady up the street,” said the boy.” I don’t know her name–theyjust moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted tobuy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.”
    “Oh No,” moaned the mother, “she must be a child abuser. Who knows what shewill do next? John, you go right up there and see what’s going on.”
    So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady livedand found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias! He introducedhimself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteendollars and demanded to know why she did it.
    “Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. Ithought he was on a business trip, but it seems he has run off to Hawaiiwith his secretary and doesn’t intend to come back. He asked me to sell hisnew Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”
  • What did the grape do when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
  • Police arrested two kids, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fire-works.  They charged one and let the other one off.
  • I used to play sports, then I realized you can buy trophies.  Now I am good at everything.
  • I don’t have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would be really upset if she heard me say that.
  • What do you call a giant pile of cats?  A meowntain.
  • I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

Quotes of the Day:

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