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Notes, Jokes & Quotes for Wednesday/Thursday

Notes of the Day:

  • Today 08/22/2018, in 1902, President Theodore Roosevelt was the first U.S. Chief Executive to ride in an automobile in public.
  • The modern word Phoenix derives from the Middle English word Phenix, which itself was derived from the Old English Fenix, which was borrowed from the Medieval Latin Phenix, which is derived from Classic Latin Phoenix.  (kind of makes your head dizzy, right?)
  • One of the Vatican Popes was elected 100% by accident.  Cardinals would often vote for a random candidate on the first ballot in order to see how the other cardinals were leaning.  In 1334, this tactic backfired when they all voted for the same person.  The very surprised Pope Benedict XII was elected.
  • Did you know that the amount of time a traffic light stays yellow corresponds with the first digit of the speed limit.  So if the speed limit is 50 MPH, the yellow light will be 5 seconds long.
  • In 536 A.D., there was a worldwide dust cloud that blocked out the sun for a year, resulting in widespread famine and disease.
  • About 100 Billion people have died in human history.

Jokes of the Day:

  • What do you call a pig that does karate?  “A pork Chop”.
  • What is it called when a chameleon can’t change it’s color?  a “Reptile Dysfunction”.
  • Three doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ”I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.” Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ”I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.” Doctor Ahn says, ”I prefer lawyers. They’re gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear-ends are interchangeable.”
  • I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, “You’re next.” So I started doing the same to them at funerals, “You’re next.”
  • Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You’re the father of twins.” “That’s odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You’re the father of triplets!” “That’s weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M company!” A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You’re the father of quadruplets.” “That’s strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons hotel!” The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What’s wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7 Up”.

Quotes of the Day:

 

 

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