Notes, Jokes & Quotes for Monday

Notes of the Day:

  • The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world.
  • The inventor of the chocolate chip cookie sold the idea to Nestle Toll House in return for a lifetime supply of chocolate.
  • Humans and dogs first became best friends 30,000 years ago.
  • Left-handed people process things faster than righties while playing computer games or sports.
  • 1 in every 8 deaths on Earth are linked to air pollution according to a study.
  • Swearing on the Bible is forbidden by the Bible.

Jokes of the Day:

  • A Jewish businessman in America decided to send his son to Israel to absorb some of the culture of the homeland. When the son returned, the father asked him to tell him about his trip.
    The son said, “Pop, I had a great time in Israel. By the way, I converted to Christianity.” “Oy vey,” said the father. “What have I done?”
    He decided to go ask his friend Jacob what to do.  Jacob said, “Funny you should ask.  I too sent my son to Israel, and he also came back a Christian. Perhaps we should go see the rabbi and ask him what we should do.”
    So they went to see the Rabbi.  The Rabbi said, “Funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Israel. He also came back a Christian. What is happening to our young people? Perhaps we should go talk to God and ask him what to do.”
    The three of them prayed and explained what had happened to their sons and asked God what to do. Suddenly a voice came loud and clear from Heaven. The Voice said, “funny you should ask, I too sent my son to Isreal…”
  • Q: Why don’t cannibals eat comedians?
    A: They taste funny.
  • A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, “Are all of those kids yours?” He replies, “No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”
  • Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
    A: Nothing it just waved.

Quotes of the Day:

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