Notes, Jokes & Quotes for Thursday/Friday

Notes of the Day:

  • Almost 1/3 of San Francisco’s air pollution comes from China.
  • A child dies every 8 seconds from contaminated water.
  • Papaphobia is the fear of the Pope.
  • Hexkosioihexekontahexaphobia is the fear of the number 666.
  • There are more life forms living on your skin than there people on the planet.
  • To our eyes, in space the Sun would appear white, not yellow.
  • 350,000 Tweets are sent every minute.
  • The first known vending machine dates back to the 1st Century AD.  It accepted a coin, then dispensed holy water.
  • It takes up to 2,900gallons of water to make a single pair of jeans.

Jokes of the Day:

  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • I’ve heard opinions of many people in my life who are under the perception that Irish Catholics are hands down the most prejudice people on this earth. Well, I’m here to set that rumor straight once and for all. As my Irish born grandmother from Donegal always used to say, ”Why no! How ridiculous! The Irish prejudice? Oh my, that is not true. We think less of all of you equally without regard to who you are!”
  • When Paddy’s dog died, he took it to the local Catholic church. He asked the preacher if he could have a funeral service for his much loved pet, but the preacher explained that they didn’t do services like that for animals. Paddy asked who would and the preacher suggested that the Baptist church up the road would probably give the dog a funeral service. Paddy asked, “Preacher, do you think $5,000 would be enough payment for the dog’s funeral?” The preacher relied, “Dearest Paddy, why didn’t you tell me that your dog was a Catholic?”
  • Three doctors are out geese-hunting. A gaggle flies over and the oncologist raises and then lowers his gun. “I better conduct an MRI first to determine if those were really geese.” Some more geese fly by & the endocrinologist raises his gun and then lowers it. “I’ll need some bloodwork to conduct an A1C and determine what those birds were first.” Some more geese fly over. The trauma doc raises his shotgun and blows them out of the sky. “What were those things, anyway?” he asks.

Quotes of the Day:

 

Speak Your Mind

*