Notes, Jokes & Quotes of the Day – Monday/Tuesday

Notes of the Day:

  • If you’re in Iceland beware of the phrase ‘I will find you on a beach’: this idiom (or threat) means, ‘ I’ll get my revenge,’ or ‘don’t make me hurt you.’
  • 85 million years before butterflies existed, there was another insect that looked and acted exactly like a butterfly.
  • A party boat carrying sixty men and women capsized in Texas in 2012 after all the passengers rushed to one side as the boat passed a nude beach.
  • 94% of the women surveyed who work in the U.S. entertainment industry say they’ve experienced some form of sexual harassment or assault.
  • Warren Buffet won a ten-year bet about index funds outperforming hedge funds.
  • The only difference between fog and mist is visibility: if you can’t see more than 100 metres ahead, it’s fog, not mist.
  • Prior to 1868, eating meat from four legged animals had been prohibited in Japan for more than a thousand years.

Jokes of the Day:

  • ┬áDuring an impassioned sermon about death and final judgement, the pastor said forcefully, “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement.” Glancing down at the front pew, he noticed a man with a big smile on his face. The minister repeated his point louder. “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!” The man nodded and smiled even more. This really got the preacher wound up. He pounded the pulpit emphatically when he came to the ultimatum: “Each member of this church is going to die and face judgement!!!” Though everyone else in the congregation was looking somber, the man in front continued to smile. Finally the preacher stepped off the platform, stood in front of the man and shouted, “I said each member of this church is going to die!” The man grinned from ear to ear. After the service was over, the preacher made a beeline for the man. “I don’t get it,” the preacher said in frustration. “Whenever I said, ‘Each member of this church is going to die,’ your smile got bigger. Why?” “I’m not a member of this church,” the man replied.
  • Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
    Johnny: “Seven.”
    Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
    Johnny: “Seven.”
    Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
    Johnny: “Six.”
    Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
    Johnny: “Seven!”
    Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
    Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
  • Q: How do astronomers organize a party?
    A: They planet.

Quotes of the Day:

 

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