Notes, Jokes & Quotes of the Day – Thursday

Notes of the Day:

  • Men were the first high heels around the 1600s.  Women began wearing them to look more masculine.
  • You would have to walk for 7 hours straight to burn off a Big Mac with a supersized Coke and French Fries.
  • In professional shooting, Alcohol is considered to be a performance enhancing drug because it relaxes yo and slows your heart rate enough to give you and edge.
  • There’s an empty place next to Mohammad’s tomb, Islam’s main Prophet, reserved for Jesus.
  • August 2, 1790; the first national census was conducted In the United States.

Jokes of the Day:

  • How I learned to mind my own business: I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and I could hear all the patients shouting, “13! 13! 13!” The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on. Someone poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting, “14! 14! 14!”
  • Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
  • Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
    A: Microchips!
  • On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, “What are your parents’ names?” The student replied, “My father’s name is Laughing and my mother’s name is Smiling.” The teacher said, “Are you kidding?” The student said, “No, Kidding is my brother. I am Joking.”

Quotes of the Day:

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