Notes, Jokes and Quotes of the Day – Monday

Notes of the Day:

  • About 20% of the world’s tech founders are immigrants, even though immigrants only make up about 4% of the world’s population
  • Abraham Lincoln, Walt Disney, Bill Gates, Mark Zukerberg, Henry Ford, Steve Jobs, never achieved a college degree.
  • 6 Million lives were saved by Bill Gates with vaccines and better healthcare.
  • McDonalds first menu featured hot dogs not hamburgers.
  • The dinosaur noises in the “Jurassic Park” movie were made from recordings of tortoise sex.

Jokes of the Day:

  • A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a six foot tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is six foot two, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is six foot five, pushing 300, and he’s a wrestler. Each one of us is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?” The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
  • (Warning, this joke is a little risque, but still funny):  A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Quotes of the Day:

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